Harris Nightpot’s robes whipped behind him as he raced down the
cool, stone steps. The sounds of clinking glasses and the murmur of voices grew
quieter with each turn of the stairwell, but Harris knew his would-be captor
was not far behind. Sure enough, as he rounded on the brickwork wall, groping
desperately in his pockets, the distinct voice of Chester Craftspell, of the
improper use of magic department, made its way through the muffled noise of the
bar above, shortly followed by the rapping of boots fast on the stairs. Harris
finally extricated his wand from the folds of his robes, a good wand, he thought
, somewhere in the back of his mind, eleven and a quarter inches with a shard of
dragon’s tooth. He could almost hear old Olivander’s voice as he purchased the
wand so many years ago. That was before he had dropped out of Hogwarts, before
times had gotten so rough and before he had mixed in with what his mother would’ve
called, screeching at him from behind her cauldron, the wrong crowd. Now,
however, he cursed softly under his breath, trying vainly to open the wall. His
wand was tapping madly until – yes! Finally! The bricks shifted and scraped,
and before they had fully formed the archway, Harris was weaving his way through
the crowds of Diagon Alley.
Chester Craftspell would not be far away, and Harris needed to hide fast.
He shot one sad look toward the corner, around which he knew lay the passage to
Knockturn Alley, not a particularly friendly place, but one which offered the
prospects of a quick hideout – pointless anyway it was too far down the lane. A
couple of kids came out of a door just ahead of him and Harris leapt at the
opportunity and ducked through behind them before it closed with a soft tinkle.
With a quick look out the window, the man made for the back of the store
, surveying his chosen shop for the first time. Not a large store, the room made
up for a lack of space with an incredible volume. Racks upon racks of
interesting magical trinkets filled the shop. He moved past a rack of what
appeared to be jars full of wands, though each was labeled something like
“Fish,” “Rubber Chicken,” or “Bat,” and on into a section apparently devoted to
assorted candies. He crouched slightly, pretending to carefully examine a bin
of “Fuzzy Face Frogs,” which looked to him like a rather poor mock-up of the
Chocolate Frogs he had eaten as a boy. From there he watched the doorway
carefully, waiting for Craftspell to walk past to make his escape.
What d’you think, eh?” Came a voice over his shoulder after a minute
had past and still no ministry official had walked by, “Those ones were my
brother’s idea, but the final design is my work.”
Harris looked slowly upwards. The man wore a fancy set of robes, real
dragonskin by the look of them, and fairly new, as well. As his eyes reached
the man’s head, however, he was a bit taken aback by the freckled boyish face
topped with vivid red hair. “I’d let you try a bit if you like, I’m sure you’ll
be pleased!”
Harris took a few steps backwards and glanced nervously at the door,
“er – no, thank ya, I should be getting’ on anyway,” he mumbled, setting down
the frog. Surely Craftspell would have already passed, perhaps while he had been
looking over the shop, or while the young man had distracted him, “yes, I think
I’d best, um…” As he reached the door, the unmistakable thin, wiry face of the
ministry official came out from the storefront across the way, a look of
frustration and determination in his eyes. “On second thought,” Harris wheeled
about, “perhaps I would like a try, ya never know when ya might get another
chance eh, son?”
The young man selected a frog and broke off a bit of leg, handing it to
Harris. Harris noted, as he took the proffered limb, that it did, weakly, kick
as the chocolate frogs that he remembered used to, but was a sad example of the
deterioration of the today’s market. He popped the leg in his cheek and grinned,
chewing. He was not disappointed by the taste, but doubted very much if it was
worth the three Knuts that they were charging. “Not bad, not bad, though I must
say, when I was your age…” Harris stopped – a curious tickle had begun to
spread over his lips. He reached a hand up and was met with a bushy mass of
hair. “Wha..” he began.
The young man grinned from cheek to freckled cheek and lifted a mirror.
Harris gazed at a his reflection, now sporting a short, but impressively thick
beard and mustache. As he watched the hair continued to spread, filling out his
own sideburns before it slowed to a halt. “Like it?” beamed the co-creator of
the candy, “Of course that’s just a small dose, the whole frog would give you
a much fuller effect, but sometimes the eyebrows get a bit in the way of yer
vision. Right fun to slip ‘em to someone as an ordinary Chocolate Frog – that’s
why George said we should animate ‘em. Not as much, of course, just enough to
complete the illusion.” He grinned again, obviously rather pleased with
himself.
"They’re marvelous!” Declared Harris, suddenly realizing the potential
of the treats surrounding him. “Are they, do they all change the way ya look?”
He gazed quickly from names like “Potbelly Peppermints,” “Ton-Tongue Toffee,”
and “CrabClaw Caremels.”
“Oh, no, not at all – said the man, we’ve got the works, from
appearance changers to disappearing candies, to ones that give you a new voice.
But here,” he lifted a purple ball from a bin marked “Bulb-nose Bubblegum,”
“If you like the frogs, chew this one a bit, just swallow when you want yer
nose to stop growin… don’ worry - they’re all carefully tested!”
Harris watched himself in the mirror in awe as he gnawed on the candy
for a bit and his nose grew several inches. He swallowed quickly and it stopped
immediately. “How long er... How long will these…”
"Most of em’ last a couple hours, ‘course with some you need to bite
the antidote end of the candy to make ‘em stop. That’s mostly for the ones
that make you ill, though. If you want any of those, you’ll have to put your
name on our list, we’ve got a bit of a backlog at the moment…”
"Can I try one of these?” Harris asked, eyeing a bag of jellybeans that
claimed to change skin color.
"I’m afraid after two free samples I’ll have to start chargin’,” The
young man said, still smiling, but suddenly businesslike.
“Well,” Harris thought for a moment. In the end his frequent and
immediate need for cover outweighed his tendancy to be stingy and he said:
“alright, I’ll take two of the frogs and another o’ them Nosey-Gum thingums.
And, maybe I’ll try a one of the Earlobe Eclairs and, lessee, what do the
“Eye-Plop Gumdrops” do?”
“Make you cry, real believable for times you wanna act real sorry or
broke up about anything.”
“Nevermind, then, just top it off with a handful of the Jellybeans,
then.”
As the man rang up the charges behind the counter, Harris slid a few
more items into the pockets of his robes. Thanking the man in his sincerest and
nicest voice, he moved to the door. There he was again! The Dragonskin, the
red mop of hair, the young man had apparently reached the door before Harris
had taken two steps. “Bloody brilliant!” He declared, “Can’t even apparate at
all myself, dropped out and never learned more’n two cents about it, but that
was the swiftest most silent I’ve ever seen it done!”
"What’s he goin on about Fred?” Said the young man, hanging a sign on
the door window, “You all right, sir?”
Harris looked back, there were two of them now. “Dunno, George, just
bought a good lot of our new stuff, though, We’ll be needing a whole new batch
of the “Fuzzy-Face Frogs” By the end of the week! – Oi, you all right, man?”
Fred was looking at Harris, who had only just realized that the new boy must be
the brother that he had mentioned.
"What did you give him, anyway, Fred?” Asked George, moving away from
the door.
I’m fine, fine, just impressed by the entrepreneurship of you two
young lads, I’ll be sure to recommend you all over town, bye now!” And Harris
moved to quickly slide through the door, but stopped, reading the sign:
Due to theft, Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes
Is now employing purchase-safe jinxes.
Any products not paid for will attack the carrier shortly
After removal from the premises, to avoid serious
Injury, don’t even think about it! Thank you!
Harris, feigning a low bow, carefully emptied his pockets into the
broom holder beside the door, and strode out.
It was a week later when Harris Nightpot found himself joined at the
Leaky Cauldron by Hegolus Flynn. “I got ‘em ‘Ariss, got d’ lot of ‘em off a
bloke wot din’ know what ‘e ‘ad and won’ know ‘e’s lost it till next week!” The
man cackled shrilly through crooked, orange teeth and Harris smelt the
firewhisky on his breath.
"Got what, Hedgy, and fer God’s sake keep yer voice down!” He glanced
around to see if anyone was listening.
The usual strange assortment of characters occupied the bar: a pair of
hooded wizards were talking quietly in the corner, a witch Harris suspected
strongly was a banshee was hunched over a glass of something which bubbled
greenly at a table to the left and down the bar to their right a Wizard who
must have had troll blood in him was nursing a mead glass and reading a
week-old copy of the Daily Prophet.
“I got the Snarbeast powder!” Hegolus continued in a loud, rasping
whisper, “Dumb bloody fool din’ know it from dried Grindylow droppin’s –
that’s what I ‘ad im convinced it was, see!” He flipped open his ragged coat
and opened a small pouch to reveal a brownish powder, glistening as if it were
wet.
Harris stuffed the man’s coat shut and hurried him out of the bar and
down the alleyway, “Y’ damn fool!” he cried at Hegolus under his breath, “You
know I can’t sell that if the whole bloody underground knows I got it from you
and you lifted it from Grover Parkins! Don’t give me that look, it’s bloody
obvious! You were in there just the other day talkin’ at the top of your voice
about him and how you was gonna… bloody hell! In here, it’s safer here. No one
but kids come this way and they’ll be too busy buyin’ t’ look at us.” Harris
led them into the shop he had found a week ago. He glanced at the lettering,
'Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes', and pushed his companion in ahead of him. He had
already returned once, examining a few fireworks and poking around the
assorted magical knick knacks. He had purchased a joke wand because it made
him laugh, one that turned into a carp and back.
"Hol’ on a tick,” Hegolus said, his eyes narrowing slightly, “Hol’ on.
Summat familiar ‘bout that name, an’ I know I aint been in ‘ere before neither.”
He looked around sharply.
“You’re probly thinkin’ of ol’ Wheezey McTabbard, y’damn fool,”
Harris replied, hurriedly under his breath, then louder, “Afternoon boys!” he
greeted the twins with a greasy smile, they waved back and resumed their
discussion behind the counter, “Back here, Hedgy, you great lump,” and he
pulled them into a thin row between suspicious looking Jack-In-The-Boxes,
colorful umbrellas, and other magical trinkets.
“Now tell me,” Harris hissed at his companion, pushing aside a bright
potted plant to make room to lean on the counter, “where do you expect to find
a bloody buyer within a week's time for your confounded powder, eh? I’m not
takin’ it off yer hands this time if you don’t have a sure thing or a damn hot
lead!”
Hegolus brushed a pair of fleshy strings out of his face, “Don’ getcher
knickers twisted ‘Arris, cool y’self down,” he said, eying a young witch and
wizard at the far side of the shop, “I got Edgar Graven tellin’ me not two
nights ago he needed t’stuff real desperate-like for his potion, an’ he’d take ‘em,
no questions asked. No one would know ‘twas me wot knicked ‘em an’ you’d be in
the clear, mate.”
“You bloody well better be sure!” Snarled Harris, “the last time I took
anything off your hands I would up with a full-grown snaffchuckle on my hands
for a week! Chewed up my favorite chair, he did!” He paused, then quickly
looked about, “Whoops, quick mate, look interested!” and began to inspect the
potted plant.
Fred – or was it George, he could never tell, had just strode up to the
men, “Well hello!” He said, jovially, “you said you’d recommend us and sure
enough, here you’re bringing friends!”
“Er, thass right, mate. Ol’ Hedgy here was just tellin’ me how right
impressed ‘e was with yer whole operation here, wasn’t you Hedgy?” Harris
said, shoving Hegolus forward.
“Er, too right,” he replied nervously.
“Got something new! Fred’s Handiwork, these,” George pulled out a pair of black
sticks, “I’ve been experimenting with Veritaserum,” Both men’s eyes narrowed,
“It was Fred who figured out how to reverse it, though, check it out, Liar’s
Licorice! Makes you unable to tell the truth! Still experimental, of course.”
Fred came up as Harris inspected the licorice appreciatively. “Just
talked to dad in the fire,” he said, pushing back a mop of red hair, “He may
be dropping in with a few friends to look around.”
Harris and Hegolus eyed each other, neither liking the prospect of
suddenly being found in a shop full of adult wizards, “er, well, we’d really
best be movin’ on, nice wares y’got, though,” Hegolus began to edge around the
twins.
“Hold on, have a candy first, on me!” Fred handed them both black and
white striped candies, which they accepted and stuffed in their mouths, still
trying to edge to the door. Before they were able to make it halfway across the
floor, however, a series of loud CRACKs announced that Arthur Weasley and two
ministry officials had apparated at the head of the shop.
“Hold it right there,” said the twins’ father, a small smile playing
on his lips “You two have trouble written all over you.”
“H-Hey now,” Harris stammered, now sweating nervously, “just because
we aint fancied up…”
“No, no,” Arthur cut him off, “take a look for yourself, Nice work
boys,” and Fred held out the mirror.
“Marked Man Minies, what do you think?” he grinned.
George waggled the fleshy strings at the men as they gaped at the
word “trouble” now scribbled all over their skin, “extendable ears,” he said
happily, “you should come back for a pair sometime!”
“Really?” Hegolus leaned in to the strings he had so casually brushed
aside earlier, “bloody brilliant, that! How d’you…”
“Just shut the ruddy ‘ell up,” Barked Harris, and the Ministry
officials led them away.
_________________________________________
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